These events take place between 7am and 8am.

Just like Jack, my producers have kept me off the air for extended periods in between seasons. I asked why and was only told, “At this point we can’t tell you.”

Fine, I said, “I’ll keep doing what I’m doing” and here we are in January. Much to my surprise, a couple weeks ago Fox producers called and said they were sending Jack to my office to help out. They apparently overheard me mumbling over ‘yahoo $*&@# bulk upload’, ‘quality score my a$&’ and a few other cries for help during the past few weeks. It got to the point Jack was concerned (in a tough love Clint Eastwood kind of way, of course), and he decided to take over some of the workload.

Jack walked into my office and I immediately started describing some of my major complaints. Jack said, “Shut up and give my your PDA”. I complied of course. He was initially confused by my iPhone but smiled once he saw the GPS and some of the first person sniper games I’ve downloaded.

I handed him a list of my smallest clients, clients I shouldn’t be working with, and said, “good luck”. He immediately started dialing with no hesitation. I sat back and soaked it all in.

Jack Bauer: I’m federal agent Jack Bauer, and today is the longest day of my life.
Client 1: All I want is a report for the last 3 months!

Client 2: You’re lying.
Jack Bauer: Yes I am. But you’re still going to have to trust me.

Client 3: I don’t believe these numbers. Is this click fraud?
Jack Bauer: Listen Mr. $50 website and $2mm in inventory, part of getting a second chance is taking responsibility for what you did wrong in the first place. Fix your website and we’ll talk.

Jack Bauer: Our campaigns are up and running.
Client 4: I don’t believe you.
Jack Bauer:(smiling) I don’t care what you believe. You don’t even have a contact form on your website.

Jack Bauer: Maybe you should try running this campaign yourself. Do you know how to use one of these?
Client 5: No.
Jack Bauer: Point and click.

After that Jack got a call from Bill Buchanan and nodded to me as he walked out the door. Just like that, Jack had appeared to solve all my problems in 30 seconds flat. I’m not sure I would hire Jack full time but he can certainly come in and deal with the trouble areas every once in a while.

I’ll have to tune in next week for more client management tips from Jack. Don’t be afraid to channel some of your inner Jack next time you have problems!