WWJBD – aka – What Would Jack Bauer Do?
As I turned off Comanche Moon last night, after only 4 minutes of horrid dialogue and even worse acting, I realize how much I miss Jack Bauer. The writers strike is clearly having an effect on my Sunday evenings.
With no professional writers on this blog (obviously), I will attempt to channel Jack Bauer in order to improve your client relationships.
Jack Bauer (PPC expert): I trusted you, Nina…
Nina Myers: I was just doing my job.
Jack Bauer: Your job?
Yes Jack, she was just doing her job. This is Jack’s obvious reference to the dialogue between PPC manager and client. When the client, Nina, decides, mid-campaign, that it would be a cool idea to add a popup window to the homepage, or even better, one of those ridiculous talking heads.
Result: Ads are suspended, in violation of the ‘no popup rule’
Solution: Jack shoots the talking head, immobilizing it
Jack Bauer: If you don’t tell me what I want to know, then it’ll just be a question of how much you want it to hurt.
Here we have Jack Bauer interrogating his client on their internal sales data. Oftentimes it’s necessary to torture clients into sharing inhouse reporting. Ironically, this is usually the data that helps manage the campaign more effectively, and oftentimes this data shows that despite the cries to the contrary, the campaign has produced a massively positive ROI.
Symptom: Client evasively suggests that the reports are ‘on another computer’.
Solution: Overt threats, suggesting painful torture
In our last Jack Bauer intervention, we go back to the beginning, when Jack first lays eyes upon his client’s existing Adwords campaign:
Jack Bauer: I’m gonna need a hacksaw.
Symptom: Large campaign, one adgroup, 4 keywords, targeted to planet earth
Solution: New account, new campaign
This is fairly self explanatory. Jack knows a bad campaign when he sees it.
More episodes to come, as long as the writers strike is on, I’ll need something to do…